What is the relationship between one’s gender, saying “I love You” and having sexual relationships? How might these elements of a relationship be visible on Facebook?
This topic is an interesting one for sure. I feel like men have been made out in romantic comedies to have to overcome some sort of huge obstacle or do something crazy to confess their love and it always has to be the perfect scenario. It’s always the guys who have raging emotions and are having to battle with their psyche to be with their partner. The truth is that although men are statistically more likely to say “I Love You” first in a relationship this isn’t always true. Studies show that Women in their 30’s are more likely to say those three words first because they are more hormonally driven to do so. However with this being true it is also been brought up that it is traditionally “a man’s job to set the tone for the relationship.”
This relates to sex directly because men are more likely to engage in sex with their partner after saying I love you because they feel that it is important to establish that connection with their partner first before making that next step. Women on the other hand want to have that conversation after sex which I guess is because they want to feel the connection before they can commit to it. I see this maybe being because men find it easier to make up their minds on things initially. It’s easier for a man to say “I love that girl for these reasons” than it is for a woman because she probably has more complex emotions towards the man.
Facebook plays into this because I feel like there is added pressure to say I love you on the internet. My (more obnoxious) friends post all the time about how much they love their significant other. This sort of post is often accompanied by a cute picture or something they did for them. Other couples may see these kinds of posts and begin to wonder if they should do the same for their partner. This kind of ties into gratitude too but this is less specific than gratitude and is more of a general show of affection. I personally see Facebook as the last place and way I’d want love for me to be confessed but I’m not going to scoff at love however I get it.
Ackerman, J. M., Griskevicius, V., & Li, N. P. (2011). Let’s Get Serious: Communicating Commitment in Romantic Relationships. Journal Of Personality & Social Psychology, 100(6), 1079-1094.
Charles, E. (2012, October 19). [Web log message]. Retrieved from http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/girl-says-i-love-you-first/
IMDB, (2004, February 13). 50 first dates. Retrieved from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0343660/